I lost sight of the Quan

Me and TNT.

Please read this article with Free Falling by Tom Petty playing LOUD.

“I was remembering even the words of the original sports agent, my mentor, the late great Dickie Fox who said: 'The key to this business is personal relationships.' Suddenly, it was all pretty clear. Caring for them, caring for ourselves and the games, too. Just starting our lives, really. Hey - I'll be the first to admit, what I was writing was somewhat touchy-feely. I didn't care. I have lost the ability to bullshit. It was the me I'd always wanted to be.”

Jerry Maguire

After any kind of media storm it’s usual for the rubber-necking gossip mill of rumours and half-baked truths to get going, sloshing dirty water over what are the actual events.

I joined TNT on January 15th this year, and started hosting The Abi Roberts Show from 8am to 9am. It was a baptism of fire being thrust into my first hosting job. There was much swearing and flapping of arms as it needed to stick to a constantly shifting format in order to include breaks and sweepers. Thanks to my tech guru Martin – and his patience – this was eventually smoothed out.

It was LIVE, and I relished every damn second of the white-knuckle ride. That’s what I thrive on, and excel at. It’s not for everyone.

I saw it as an opportunity to broadcast some inconvenient truths to a new audience, in an authentic way. I had fuck all interest in fame or celebrity. My own or anyone else’s. My favourite interviews were with people like Sue and Steve, Francis O’Neill, Nick Cotton, Miri, Ant, Natalie (Trauma into Truth), Ash, Bob, and others. These are the people who have worked tirelessly standing up to the creeping tyranny we have seen accelerate since March 2020.

My morning show became very popular and the audience figures were some of the highest on the station. For the record, I was never censored, or told I couldn’t cover a certain topic, which makes what I felt I eventually had to do even more galling.

After a few weeks, we were told by email that one of the long-serving tech guys had left without notice because he was so unhappy with the increasingly unstable, unpleasant atmosphere.

The management loved me.

But my gut feeling, and reports of incessant bullying by the management, told me that it was only a matter of time.

The uncertainty made me feel nervous and sweaty.

Had I suddenly become Ray Liotta laughing at the boss’s jokes?

Had I let the shiny baubles blind my judgement?

Fuck. Cunt. Fuck. Cunt.

On Friday March 8th, I was suddenly told that the UK shows were being extended to two hours, and my new show would start on Monday 11th at the new time of 5pm. I had become Drive Time, baby. With four guests every day. Despite my knotted stomach, I tried to take a positive attitude. My audience were already looking forward to the two hours.

You’ve got some brilliant guests booked, you’ll have a lie-in, I told myself.

Come on, Abs.

But I knew deep down that this was the end.

A couple of people have commented on the fact that if they liked me and treated me relatively well, why would I go? My response is this: It’s not good enough to say ‘that’s show business’, in the same way it’s not good enough to say ‘that’s Big Pharma’. If the past four years have taught us anything, surely it’s that it’s very much not business as usual.

I need to re-iterate that my decision isn’t just about me, I’m hoping that just as we woke up to inconvenient truths during the shit show, we can wake up to the fact that standards should be much higher in a place of work, especially if it’s in the media.

Our push back against bad practice shouldn’t stop at Covid and all the other nonsense.

I wrote my resignation email on Thursday morning. I wish I’d written this article, and taken the *goldfish, sooner. I’m genuinely sad that such a great opportunity for a real free speech station has been destroyed by the behaviour of those at the top. It’s like a Greek tragedy; the management at TNT are blind rulers drunk on their own power, and they’ve sown the seeds of their own demise.

Free speech, and the brilliant crew here and in Australia, who made the shows so enjoyable to do, deserve so much better.

We all do.

You can listen to all my TNT shows here

*Please watch Jerry Maguire