After Ben’s suicide, I drank myself into oblivion most days and had sleeping pills. I landed in hospital as I wasn’t coping.

I was in that awful accommodation which made my grief worse.

Drinking myself into oblivion was my way of dealing with my feelings.

I’m not proud of it, but I don’t do that anymore.

I toasted Benjamin on Christmas Day with a JD and coke.

It’d be so easy for me to reach for a vodka, but I don’t.

I look at Benjamin’s photos and I know that he wouldn’t want that for me.

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On a brighter note,

I enjoyed the show today, Jacqui and our Kezza were great.


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I love the "limbo dancer's arsehole" quip!

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Not a clash of cultures though Abi, is it?

Not even of civilisations anymore either.

We missed that boat in 1992 or so.


It's a clash of religions.

They have a religion, we don't.

Their book is clear on what they are going to do if they stay faithful to it.

And those that matter do.

Europe chose to displace 20 million Jews , and replace them with 20 million Muslims .

And then some.

We also elected to abort 40 million babies, and replaced THEM with 40 million migrants.

And demographically , they are heterosexuals, have children and look after their old... in theory, given what they think of their hosts? They are content to take all we have and give us Islam in return.

And they regard that as a good deal for us too.

It's in the Qur'an. But hey, who's bothered with it since Lee Rigby?

Oh wait ..we didn't care then either.

Hosea 8.7.

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Is there a link to Abi's TNT show? I am banned from social media from the bootstompers and in a digital gulag. Thank you in advance fam.

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Hope all goes well with your eye procedure Abi. I watched TNT this morning and you read my comment and pronounced my Polish surname perfectly! Have good weekend x

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Abi, I so identify with your description of anxiety even though I’ve always thought of my own anxiety/depression as being a black cloud that appears out of nowhere, seemingly for no reason, and is pushing down on me.

I believe that everything from Covid through to brain implants has been by design. Covid was a trial run to see how easily the population could be controlled. The globalists must have been very pleased with the large number of people who were compliant and believed everything they were told without question. Covid, Ukraine, trans ideology, 15 minute cities, a cashless society and now brain implants - all in the hope of breaking our spirit and having total control of our lives.

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Orwell and Huxley - a chicken and egg conundrum if ever there was one. Certainly the Frankfurt school and other Marxist organisations have infected society over the years. If only we could rid ourselves of these people. It would be a start if someone could invent a jab for eradicating Benjamin Butterworth.

Yes, its marvellous when people gather, for the greater good, to exchange ideas, but I wouldn't be too worried about the demise of organised Christianity. A way of controlling the masses as far as I can see. Ireland was a good example; confess to some bloke in a frock and if your'e still considered 'sinful' there were always institutions such as the Magdalene sisters asylums where you could be locked up and made to work in order to pay penance. Worshiping anyone, or anything, is nearly alwayrs dangerous in my opinion. The happy and glorious monarchy are seamlessly moving with the times as William joins Charles promoting new religions such as net zero. Net result's the same, worship for the masses and masses more money for the worshipped.

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Just catching up with Abi Daily. Another timely episode. We are all in the pressure cooker from the last 4 years and it knits us together into shared experiences and reactions. We’ve been working my daughter through panic attack management this week.

On the topic of has the West done it to ourselves or was it planted ideas? I think it’s a murder mystery and there is a killer.

I think it’s like the final Poirot where the murderer preys on vulnerabilities and tempts others into the killings. The kind of suspicion, including self-suspicion, that descends between people in Styles, with everyone alienated from reality, each other and self, is what we are experiencing now.

Just like a murder, there are distinct moments in the history of the crime (e.g. I’d point to the growth of philosophical idealism and the supplanting of realist metaphysics in the 17th-20th centuries; the rise of the human sciences as a project of the new idealism in which the human soul was seen as a product of social/psychological/historical processes and therefore seen as manageable by science and governments- Marxism grows in that soil, etc). You can tell the tale from that angle right up to the plandemic as the project of those billionaires who believe humanity is a genetic resource to be manipulated.

But also like the Poirot plot in “Curtain”, there are the vulnerabilities of those that become the killers and also the motivation and plan of the one orchestrating it.

On the vulnerabilities theme, I think the Tower of Babel (the Babylon principle in every society) shows us the human drive to solve our alienation from reality, self and God by grabbing the heavens and bringing them under our control. Every generation has a Youval Noah Harari who tells us we are manageable bags of chemicals and that God is a social invention. That idea is like a reheated microwave meal. It appeals to us at a basic level leaving us open to grand gestures by hero governments.

On the theme of the archetypal killer, it’s Satan. He kills by the lie,says Jesus in John 8. He says “become gods by becoming functional atheists” and seek life elsewhere, other than in fellowship with the God who is light, love and life in himself.

Our estrangement from God is the source of our undoing. Pursuing it under the satanic lie is further self harm.

Sticking these together we see Satan’s whisper, driving the plans of the elites and playing on the vulnerabilities of the human heart. Sometimes the plans are evidently generations in the making, leaving the evidence trail of cash, three letter organisations and bodies, for the citizen journalists to discover. Sometimes it’s opportunistic.

But when you know the human heart, the Babylon principle, and Satan’s simple agenda, it is always predictable in its big moves. The plan is always a new manifestation of the same old plan, the Tower of Babel - the creation of a city that has no God, and that is filled with images of ourselves staring back at us as if we are our own greatest achievement. It’s a self made prison of our own delusion.

Societies that cling to the idea of natural law, philosophical realism and God have a built in resistance to the Babylon principle. You can see it coming and that’s why writers like C SLewis could write so well on totalitarianism. He was a man grounded in the great tradition (the older settlement of the relationship between philosophy and theology). There are no new plans and patterns. Same old play book. His essay on “the abolition of man” was seen as prophetic but only by a world that had forgotten to think like the theologians of the Middle Ages and the early church Fathers.

Because of all the above, we need a multidisciplinary approach to diagnosis and solutions. We need citizen journalism; we also need a history of ideas approach; we need a recovery of pre-enlightenment philosophy and theology; and we need the arts. Truth, Beauty and Goodness are not only at stake. They are the resources for the fight back. (So are decent scotch eggs).

Lecture ends

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Maybe do a 2 hour TNT show so you can chat longer and add the music thing in too. That hour goes too fast anyway! 😉 x

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