22 Comments

“He was sort of an actor, slash writer, slash dickhead”. 😂 You know when you suddenly laugh out loud at high volume in a public place...

Expand full comment

Me too 🤣

Expand full comment

Abi you conjured up such a hilarious image of your wedding, I’m glad there were no videos of my first wedding it was so awful even I didn’t want to be there! 🤣, only lasted 18 months. Second husband was a complete psycho and control freak, but I got it right with number 3!

I’ve had a lovely relaxing holiday in Devon, ate too many cream teas, and have a slight touch of post holiday blues, hope everyone in the Substack family is ok!

Expand full comment

Glad you had a wonderful time xx

Expand full comment

Thanks Trudi xx

Expand full comment

Loved the description of your first wedding! 🤣

Expand full comment

I was married at aged 18(1991), I was 3 months pregnant with my first child. I was miserable the whole day. There’s a photo of me and the hubby. He looked like the cat that got the cream, I had a face like thunder. I had a laced dress on with the biggest bow you’ve ever seen on the front.

I had a little bump( I was skinny back then🥺) my mum kept telling me to cover my bump with my floral bouquet.

We had a video , you see me walk into a room, my mother in law looked me up and down in utter disgust 🤣🤣.

You then hear my mum saying she’d given my new hubby a cheque( like she’d paid him to marry me) I never did find out what that was for 🤣

Oh and in one bit, people are telling my dad that his flies were undone.

A few years ago, I asked my sister what first dance music I had, we couldn’t think, then it dawned on me that I didn’t have an evening reception 🤣🤣

It was the worst day of my life, I hated it.

I’ve posted a pic of me on my wedding day before, the face of thunder is hilarious.🤣🤣

Mock the week... Never watched it🤷‍♀️

Hope everyone is okay, had my mop chopped today, so feel so much better.

Love to all 💖

Expand full comment

Just realised what I’ve written, the worst day of my life, I honestly wish it was 😕

Expand full comment

We were howling at one-eyed burrito wedding...absolutely hilarious 😂 I suggest u come to terms with the fact that the song is ruined forever 😜

Totally hear your re the comedians,it’s bn very disappointing to say the least.....and the mountains of material they had to hand!! Should’ve been a comedians wet dream. Must be hard Abi, you will never think the same about these ‘friends and colleagues’ again. Mr Jules is particularly disappointed in Ricky Gervais,he really enjoyed him. We have tried to see the humour in everything during the shit show,even the really dark stuff and have had some really good laughs.... God,we need to laugh.

Thanks for making us laugh xx

Expand full comment

Human burrito! 🤣🤣🤣 I nearly just fell off the cross trainer😂.

I used to love Mock The Week...back in the day, but I haven't watched it in a long time. Times are certainly changing and because there are so many different ways to access things, I'm not surprised it's being axed. Television is not really a thing anymore is it? The days of waiting for Top of the Pops and recording your favourite bands seems so antiquated now doesn't it? And having to wait a whole week to see the next episode if Dallas 😊.

Fab stuff again Abi. I will never be able to listen to Shania Twain again without picturing you...the human burrito! Hilarious!🤣🤣🤣xx

Expand full comment

That bloody song is now my new ear worm, beats Orinoco glow though, I suppose 🤣🤣

Expand full comment

Ha ha Abs, loved the reminiscences! Agree re the so called 'comedians 'of today.

I actually lkie Shania Twain, and you sing just like her.

I've just woken from a humidity induced semi-coma this evening, I am so whacked out with this horrible heat.

Just keep on keeping on, girl.. you're a legend.. Love to all, Jan S xx

Expand full comment

Hi Abi. You have such a beautiful voice!

Expand full comment

Loved the wedding description Abi.I was listening to it while out walking. Must have looked mad laughing to myself 😄

Expand full comment
founding

Abi, your first wedding sounded hilarious, I was laughing out loud visualising it. I’ve been married three times and I cannot top that!

I think the tide is turning slowly, although some people will be lost forever. It’s hard to believe with all the evidence now out there that people are getting their monkeypox jab and looking forward to their 4th booster. The people still wearing masks in this heat will probably never stop wearing them.

I’m looking forward to your second James Delingpole podcast. The first one was brilliant, a great introduction to you as a person and what you stand for.

Expand full comment

Oh that description of your first wedding was hillarious. I got married 35 years ago. It was October, I was expecting some relatives from overseas to attend, and to make sure they would be here, I booked my wedding for the last Saturday of October. Someone said 'you do know that's Halloween dont you' . Well I completely forgot about that! I remember saying,. 'well I'm not going as a witch'

Anyway everything went well, we all had a lovely time even though I was numb from nerves throughout, and didn't wear my glasses so I didn't have to focus on anything!

The evening ended with me stuffing my wedding dress into a tesco carrier bag, and tying it up ready to take to the dry cleaners in the morning. That morning was refuse collection day so I ran around collecting everything to go in the refuse bin and by mistake picked up the tesco carrier bag with my wedding dress and dumped it in the bin. My mum didn't speak to me for a week she was so upset.

Expand full comment

We need to see that ‘face like thunder’ Trudi 🤣🤣🤣x

Expand full comment

I’ve just tweeted it 🫣🫣🫣🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

I will retweet it!! It is hilarious

Expand full comment

What name are you under?

Expand full comment

I forgot to say that I am just picturing you as a burrito with a swollen eye🤣🤣🤣hilarious 🤣🤣💖

Expand full comment

Your description of your first wedding was so funny Abi, thank you for brightening up the day. I agree with you about other comedians, such a huge disappointment they all are!

Expand full comment