28 Comments

Never thought I’d be in the bath on Monday night shouting Ayatollah Khomeini haha when you couldn’t think of his name 😂. Apologies to my elderly neighbour if she heard me. Helga is just too good I am hysterical. Great pod Abi.

My special thoughts are with Lisa 🙏 xx

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Hahahaha, I can imagine the frustration!! I was desperate. Thank God Khomeini eventually popped out!! 😂

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Is anyone else worried about the whereabouts of scouser Paul? 🤣🤣🤣

The massage sounds like hell😬

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LMFAO 🤣

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He may be in a small room off the gym floor crying for help.

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😂😂

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I don’t think it was scouser Paul😂😂

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We definitely did not do it in dog shit park 😂

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Not the ideal location and definitely not with scouser Paul😂

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I know , I’m being a knob!!😁

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😂

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Abi, my friend's a masseuse, working with a Zimbabwean owner. One particularly busy day, Zimbabwean shouts out from the back "Sharon, ow you spell "cunt?" Everybody's head whipped round in the waiting room as Sharon hurried to the office "Hold on!! I'm coming!" Gets to office, diplomatically asks "In what context?" Owner says "I cunt find your payment." Sharon:"Caaaaan't, it's Caan't. "

Thank you Helga for popping in. My German partner says your name translates as stringy fungus.

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🤣🤣🤣

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Abi, I hope you are not too sore tomorrow after the deep tissue massage. Why on earth was the masseuse not playing relaxation music🤷‍♀️ Helga has too many rules especially about alcohol!

We need to focus more on the positive and pursue things that make us happy, sometimes just the simple things. Will be with you at prayer time tomorrow x

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❤️🙏

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I love the description of the massage. I'm ashamed to confess that I still find flatulence amusing (at the age of 61). xx

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Don’t be ashamed, Laura! Fart sounds are one of the funniest things ever invented 😂

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Hilarious Abi! From the Gypsy Kings to the Mexican Cartel to Helga! Laughed like a kid! Xxx

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Thank you, Elizabeth! Much love ❤️

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Fun one tonight 👍🏻

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I love the description of the massage. I'm ashamed to confess that I still find flatulence amusing (at the age of 61). Can you have Helga back? xx

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Is it worth seeing whether you can find an awake massage on PHA telegram groups or awakened therapists uk group?

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Bitter lake was a BBC production so I'm wary of whether to believe that! I think we should be focused on the UK and who is being imported here illegally and living in a hotel near you

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Time to water the roses me thinks 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Just catching up after being away, God that Helga woman has me in absolute stitches 🤣 Genius. Thanks for the much needed laugh X

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Fabulous

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I used to go for hour long accupucture sessions with my chiropractor, he would put on ocean sounds and by the end I would have to pee so badly .... I finally asked for silence instead, my bladder thanked me for it.

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I love Helga!! 😅

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